A 26-year-old nurse sparked a passionate discussion after revealing that her boyfriend of six years refuses to propose until she pays off the remainder of her student loans.
The caller explained that she graduated in 2023 with $167,000 in student debt and has worked aggressively to reduce the balance to about $90,000. Despite her progress, she said her boyfriend—who earns $250,000 a year—has made it clear that he won’t propose until she’s completely debt-free.
Dave Ramsey’s reaction was immediate.
“Interesting,” he said. “You’re not going to like me if you were my daughter.”
When the caller asked why, Ramsey didn’t hesitate.
“Dump him.”
The caller pushed back, insisting, “I mean, he’s a great guy.”
Ramsey disagreed.
“No, he’s not. He’s making you prove your worth based on money. You’re having to buy your way into this relationship. Nope. You’re a princess, and you deserve more than this.”
The conversation took another turn when the caller revealed that the couple already lives together.
She explained that one reason she’s been able to throw so much of her income at her student loans is because her boyfriend covers their rent.
Ramsey responded bluntly.
“So you live together? You’re already married—you just didn’t admit it.”
When the caller said it didn’t feel like they were married, Ramsey argued that the arrangement removed much of the incentive for her boyfriend to take the next step.
“So what’s his incentive to get married?” Ramsey asked. “None.”
Ramsey’s co-host, Jade Warshaw, echoed those concerns, saying she believes living together before marriage often creates unhealthy relationship dynamics.
According to Warshaw, couples who combine their finances and responsibilities before making a long-term commitment can end up staying together for financial reasons instead of evaluating whether the relationship is truly healthy.
“It’s much easier to walk away from a relationship that’s not working when each person has their own place,” she explained. “Once you’re sharing a home, splitting responsibilities, and one person is paying the rent, it becomes much harder to make the decisions you otherwise might.”
Ramsey also encouraged the caller to recognize her own financial independence.
He pointed out that nursing offers long-term job security and strong earning potential, emphasizing that she has the ability to build wealth regardless of her relationship status.
He stressed that successful marriages aren’t built on identical financial situations but on shared financial values.
“All we tell couples to do is be aligned,” Ramsey said. “Be in agreement about how money is going to be handled.”
He acknowledged that both partners appear to dislike debt and value financial responsibility but argued that making marriage contingent on eliminating student loans creates an unnecessary obstacle.
“I love you,” Ramsey told the caller. “If you were my daughter, I’d tell you not to marry this guy because I think this is a false premise.”
Ramsey warned that compatibility isn’t determined by who has more debt but by whether both partners share the same attitudes toward money, saving, and borrowing.
“If one person has zero debt but loves borrowing money while the other hates debt and loves saving, that’s the kind of thing that leads to divorce later,” he said.
He added that money remains one of the biggest sources of conflict in marriages.
“The number one cause of divorce in North America today is money fights and money problems,” Ramsey said. “This is a money fight—you just aren’t having it out loud. You’re having it in your head.”
Warshaw, however, offered a slightly more charitable interpretation of the boyfriend’s actions.
She suggested that his willingness to cover the rent may indicate he was genuinely trying to help, even if his approach was flawed.
“It seemed like he was willing to help with the debt,” she said. “He was helping in the wrong way.
That’s the only thing that makes me think he might simply be misguided.”
Ramsey concluded by encouraging the caller to have an honest conversation before making any life-changing decisions.
He suggested meeting with a marriage counselor to determine whether they could truly get on the same page financially.
But he also made it clear where he believes the line should be drawn.
“If, at the end of the day, the answer is, ‘I won’t marry you until you pay off your debt,’ then the question has already been answered,” Ramsey said.
“You value that more than you value me. See you later, alligator.”
